Marble Surface

Sandy J

Thank you for taking a few moments to find out a bit about me.

For a long time I was trapped in a cycle of abuse and I felt completely overwhelmed and dis-empowered by my circumstances...

Taking action to try and bring about change was often very challenging and came with a level of risk and always had a consequence...

What I discovered and what I live by can be summed up in one simple prayer...

Image by Yann Le Comte

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me

 

The Serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change,

The Courage to change the things I can,

And the Wisdom to know the difference.

Reinhold Niebuhr

This prayer is provided to be inclusive and respectful of personal spiritual beliefs and is given in the context of being the God of your understanding. 

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Some facts about me.

My journey through life has led me to have a strong desire to help others going through confronting circumstances.

I have had countless disruptions to my personal and professional development over the year's because of dysfunction, abuse and breakdowns in relationships.

I have walked down many different paths searching for answers to the issues which have caused me a great deal of heartache and pain over the course of my life. 

For this reason I have always been a soul searcher and I have looked deeply into the how's and the why's behind the struggles we all face in life.

 

For me it has always been more than simply looking into personal development. It has been a deep earnest search for wisdom. 

 

My focus has been on how I can lead a meaningful life and how I can make some contribution towards making the world a better place. 

It is my belief that the world needs thinkers, problem solvers, creators, innovators and inventors more so than ever before. I believe we are in a time where we need to evolve to recognize that we are all inter-linked.

For this reason we need to do what is in our power to be proactive and purposeful in our lives.

I believe that real value lies in what we do with what we have.

 

I am a grandmother, mother, daughter, sister, recycle-er, gardener, treasure hunter, writer, presenter, and singer and everything I do revolves around valuing life, love and the importance of the human spirit.

 

My first purpose in life is to be a good and loving partner to my husband, and to my four wonderful children, and my 3 step-children and their partners and a loving grandmother to their children. 

 

My family are my greatest teachers, not just because they give me the motivation to be a good person and a responsible adult, but because they so brilliantly reflect the areas in my life in which I need to grow.

They remind me constantly of the importance of love, peace, kindness, joy, patience, faithfulness and self control.

 

Now to my other purpose in life which is driving me to reach out now, is my heartfelt desire to help others who are struggling.

I am a trained Life Mentor and rather than put on a Coaching label, I am a Facilitator of Life Transformation and a Mentor for the development in cultivating sustainable change.

 

I like to explore life’s ups and downs, and it is my aim to help people and women more particularly, feel more empowered when they are going through challenging times. 

 

I do believe we are all here to shine a light on each other to help one another see a good path we can take to lead us somewhere better.

 

It gives me great joy to make meaningful connections with people and help them to feel seen, heard and valued.

 

My work revolves around the value in taking small manageable steps, to bring about positive and sustainable change.

 

My personal journey is found in my book, THE KEY, currently awaiting publishing.

 

Thanks for reading a bit about me.

 

I wish you well on your journey through life.

Sending you lots of love and light.

Image by Patrick Tomasso

We all have a story to tell about who we are, what we do and what we value. Here is a glimpse into mine.

If someone would have told me that one day, I would disconnect from the name I was born with, I wouldn’t have believed them.

 

If I had not fled with my children; we may well have been another family violence statistic. I was left with no other option than to flee and literally change our names, to try and break free and start a new life.

Leading up to this my life was a complete mess; it was spiraling out of control. I desperately wanted to escape, but I didn’t want to uproot my life in the process.

 

This was a very dark time, and I was frightened I would never be free from the abusive behaviors of my x, but that window of opportunity did eventually come and it gave me an opportunity to see that there was a different path I could take.

 

It was so scary taking those first few steps because I had no idea whether there was a safe refuge for me and my children at the end of that path.

 

I did take those steps filled with uncertainty. It was a long while before the path to my new life appeared to become safer and my surrounds looked more tranquil and less menacing.

During those years that I was in an abusive relationship, not only had I lost my way, but I had lost my voice.

 

I was too scared to speak up and speak out about what was really going on in my life.

 

I did my best to hide from the danger and try and avert being hurt as much as I possibly could.

Then one day when I could not manage to live hidden away in silence anymore, I found my voice and I began crying out for help.

 

I suffered more at first because I had dared to defy the one who had a hold on the lives of me and my children. The situation escalated.

When our survival was in jeopardy, we were lucky enough to be given an opportunity to try and break free from the cycle of abuse. Thankfully, my x was kept away by the authorities long enough for me to realize that I had a short window of time to flee with the children to somewhere we could not be found.

We left our home, our community, our relatives and our friends behind and we tried to make a fresh start.

 

This time of radical transition was a major upheaval for us, we were still living in a state of uncertainty, waiting and worrying that my x would track us down. We were all traumatized.

 

Our lives did not immediately get better the moment we packed up and left. It took time, support, and resilience for us to start our path to healing.

I didn’t turn my life around on my own, but it started with me.

 

Every difficult step I took started with me pushing past the horrible fear that was pressing down on me.

 

This involved me enlisting the help of the police, the courts, professional support services, counseling support services, charitable organisations, support groups and the children’s various schools on our journey.

Thankfully, our situation and our circumstances have gradually improved over time.

 

We are still healing from the life that we have left behind, but we have come a long way.

Perhaps you see some of yourself in my story. I know that my story is sadly all too common, but like mine, can have a happy ending. 

I hope that my story built on the building blocks of courage and support can be a testament in itself of hope for others like me for a way forward.

I am working very hard on finishing off the closing chapters of my book. The Key is a memoir of my experience of being caught in a cycle of abuse for more than a decade and the harrowing road that led me to finally escape and leave my old life behind.

My hope is that my story will help others gain insight into the damaging issues women in abusive relationships face and ways to navigate this all too common issue in society today.

I am actively working on submitting my manuscript to Literary Agents and Editors to  get my story made available as quickly as possible for who ever may benefit from it. 

I will stay on the path to see my book published, even if reaching the top of this mountain means that I take the steps without the support of a mainstream publisher.

If you are in a position to help me reach the top of the mountain please contact me.

For now... watch this space... 

Image by Everyday basics